carving peru stone

Do we give in to fear or do we keep going.I always said i wouldnapos;t "need" but i am starting to "need" Some days a simple word will do, but some days i need to be held, to know that im ok, to feel wanted and needed in return.
As an "evolved" human being i have always told myself that i was self sufficient,that my submission was entirely of my own choosing,that i could live my life alone if i needed to.Suddenly the basis for all these beliefs has been shaken.The rug has been swiped out from underneath me and im sitting on my ass wondering how to stand up again.
But you know what it feels great.Iapos;m reminded of one of those nature videos about penguins,you know the onesThe poor solitary penguin wandering through the blizzard,he is doing fine but damn does he look cold.Then he stumbles onto the rest of the penguins and suddenly he just looks like another warm cozy penguin
I also worry about disappointing her,i know she is going through some stuff right now and i want to tell her that im here, that whatever she needs i want to give....i think im going to sit down and talk about it with her i want desperately for her to be "OK"
On a good note i was instructed to start writing again, Wednesday night I wrote a couple of pages and it felt good.I have let that slip for far too long now
-g-
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